Alone
by jed10
Summary: There is another witness in Ghost, a fourteen year old girl who saw Liam Connors shoot her dad. She has to go into witness protection alone. Foster care isn't an option. The only option is someone who understands the restrictions and risks in the witness protection program.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

**Author's Note:** This starts during Ghost and is AU after that. The first chapter incorporates some of the dialogue from the show with a twist. Alex is the main character. Olivia, Elliot, and Casey will all be featured heavily.

* * *

The cold fear was constant and unshakeable.

Anyone who looked at her funny could be _him_. She didn't know who he was or what he looked like, only that he wanted her dead.

She had lost so much because of him.

Her family and her friends were all in New York. It was home. She missed the penthouse apartment her mother had helped her decorate when she got the job with the District Attorney's office, but it was the people she missed most. She'd missed the weddings of friends that had been part of her life since childhood, her mother's funeral. She knew now, even if she could ever go back, she would never see her mother again.

Alex looked at the picture for a moment in silence. "So this is what he looks like. Every time a stranger glanced at me, I thought, has he found me? Is he going to kill me? And now I know." Alex let out a breath. "I would like nothing more than to see Liam Connors pay for what he did to me, but it goes against every principle I had as a layer to try a man for a crime he didn't commit."

"You understand I didn't have a choice," Cragen said.

"I know you can't commit perjury," Alex said at once. "You're going to have to tell the court that I'm still alive."

"I'm only sorry the bastard won't have to answer for what he did to you," Cragen said sincerely.

"Oh, he will," Alex said with conviction. "I want him charged with my attempted murder."

"You'd have to go back to testify. That's stepping right back into he crosshairs," Agent Hammond said.

"For years I convinced victims to face their attackers. Now it's time for me to step up," Alex insisted.

"Your testimony won't help the case. You can't ID Connors as your shooter," Cragen pointed out.

"If I don't go back, the defense will issue a missing witness charge and then you will lose your case," Alex said.

"But we've still got Connors on six counts of murder," Agent Hammond reminded her.

Determination hardened Alex's face. "Because an eight year old boy and a fourteen year old girl have the guts to testify."

"Alex, if you go back, they will try and kill you again," Cragen warned her.

"I have lost my home, my job, my friends. My mother died and I couldn't go to the funeral." There was just a touch of emotion in Alex's voice. "Liam Connors is not going to take my conscience, too."

* * *

The grief came in crushing waves, dragging her down into the darkness. She was drowning in it. She felt like she couldn't breathe.

She'd seen the face of the cold-blooded killer who had shot her dad from where she was hiding under the bed. She heard the sound of the gunshot. There was so much blood everywhere, dark red and wet.

At fourteen, her dad had been the center of Elissa's world. He was all she had. She was an only child, and he spoiled her. She loved him so much. She was lost without him.

She didn't sleep at all last night. Every time she closed her eyes, the memories assaulted her. And apparently she wasn't the only one…

Elissa's blue eyes shimmered with sympathy as the sweet little boy who had been shot by the same man who killed her dad told the ADA that he had a bad dream. Now he didn't want to testify.

_He didn't want to testify._

Elissa would testify and he wouldn't have to. She was always going to testify.

"I'll testify so he doesn't have to," Elissa interjected.

"Actually, it would be better if both of you testified," Olivia told her.

"Are you scared?" Antonio asked, his big brown eyes on Elissa.

The man had already taken away the only person who had ever mattered to Elissa. She had no one else. There was nothing left to lose. There was an uneasy anger swirling inside her, mixing with sorrow, but there was no fear.

"No," Elissa said after a moment.

No one believed that, but they focused on Antonio for now. They all knew from years of experience working with kids that younger children were easier than moody teenagers. The eight year old was eager to please, where the fourteen year old was at the age where she didn't really care what the adults thought.

Alex leaned forward in her chair, toward Antonio. Sympathy warmed her eyes, her voice. "I have to go to court, too. I get scared that the ghost might try to hurt me again, but then I remember that I have friends to protect me just like you do."

"I wish my mom was here." Antonio's voice trembled.

_And I wish my dad were here_, Elissa thought, but didn't say anything. She wasn't eight years old.

"I'll keep working on him." Mike left with Antonio in tow.

The attention shifted to Elissa then. If Antonio didn't testify, the fourteen year old might be their one and only chance to put Liam Connors behind bars, where they strongly believed he belonged.

"We should work on your testimony," Casey said.

"Good idea. While you do that, I'll order dinner. Chinese or pizza?" Olivia asked, directing the question to the teenager.

"I'm not hungry," Elissa said.

"Elissa, you haven't eaten anything since breakfast." And she'd only picked at the bagel then, Olivia remembered. "You'll get sick if you don't eat." There was concern in her voice.

"I'm not hungry," Elissa repeated stubbornly.

"Chinese then. I'll order extra in case you change your mind." Olivia smiled at Elissa.

Casey went over all of her questions for Elissa, and then gave Elissa a chance to ask her any questions she had about what would happen in the courtroom. The question the teenager asked surprised Casey and impressed Alex, who was hard to impress.

"Can I say something before the judge sentences him?" Elissa asked.

Anyone else in her shoes would ask if they would have to see the murderer, but not Elissa. No, Elissa wanted to say something before the judge sentenced Liam Connors.

"Well, the judge won't sentence him tomorrow. If I get a conviction, the judge will set another date for sentencing," Casey explained.

"_If_?" Elissa repeated.

Casey met Elissa's gaze. "If you and Antonio testify, we have a good chance at getting a conviction."

"What if Antonio doesn't testify?" Elissa wondered.

Casey sighed. "If Antonio doesn't testify, we're really going to need your testimony."

Elissa frowned slightly. "I told you I'll testify."

Casey cocked her head. "You also told us you weren't scared."

The teenager hadn't talked to anyone about how she felt. When asked, Elissa just said she was fine. She wasn't fine, Casey knew.

The fourteen year old saw Liam Connors shoot her dad, and he would be in the courtroom. Casey had seen witnesses who'd been through less crumble under the pressure of a trial.

Elissa should be scared. And the only way Casey could help her work through her fear was if the teenager talked to her.

Elissa looked up, met the ADA's gaze. "I'm not."

"_Elissa_," Casey said. "Liam Connors will be there. You saw him shoot your dad. It's ok if you're scared."

"I'm not scared," Elissa insisted, but the ADA didn't look convinced. "My dad's already dead. He was all I had." Elissa closed her eyes, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. Then her eyes hardened in startling contrast to her sweet baby-face. "I want Liam Connors to pay for what he did."

That was a feeling Alex understood, all too well.

"He will," Alex said confidently.

Elissa glanced at Alex, met her eyes. An understanding passed between them. Liam Connors didn't shoot and kill Alex's father, but he shot her. Alex was a victim and a witness. And she was in the witness protection program. She understood the anger exactly.

"How's it going?" Olivia asked as she came back into the office.

"Good. I think she's ready." Casey flashed a smile at Elissa.

Olivia set the brown paper bag down on Casey's desk and started taking out take-out containers. "Ok, I got everything on the menu. We can all share. Elissa?"

"You don't give up, do you?" Elissa said.

Olivia grinned. "Nope."

* * *

Alex Cabot was good at a lot of things, but backgammon was not one of them. Elliot beat her every single time. Even Elissa, who had never played before, beat her.

"Are you sure you've never played before?" Alex narrowed her eyes at the teenager.

For the first time since her dad died, Elissa smiled, showing off her dimples.

"Beginner's luck," Elliot said as he traded places with Alex.

Elissa was more comfortable with men than woman. She'd grown up with a single father who'd been more of a playmate than a parent most of the time. It might have been simply because he was male, or maybe it was because he had kids her age, but, whatever the reason, Elliot had built a rapport with Elissa quickly. From almost the moment the detective had arrived on the scene of her dad's murder, she'd felt like she could talk to him. Now, the teenager talked to him like she talked to her dad, with the same easy warmth and confidence.

"Luck? It's talent, Detective," Elissa corrected.

Elliot's eyes lit with challenge as he picked up the dice. "Only one way to find out."

Elissa raised her eyebrows. "Bring it on."

"You asked for it." Smirking, Elliot rolled the dice.

"Is that the best you can do?" Elissa said when he rolled a one and a three.

Elliot smiled, moved his pieces. "I'm just getting warmed up."

"Take your time," Elissa told him, picking the dice up. She rolled a five and a six, moved her pieces.

Elliot rolled the dice again, this time getting two sixes. "No, I'm good." His voice was confident, cocky even.

Elissa didn't have a comeback when she rolled a two and a four.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Elliot asked, his blue eyes flicking up from the board to the teenager.

"I'm just answering questions. It's not that hard," Elissa said.

"I was nervous the first time I testified," Elliot confessed.

"You'll do fine," Alex chimed in. "Look directly at the defense attorney when he's asking the questions, and look at Casey when she's asking the questions."

Elissa shifted her gaze to Alex, listening carefully. "Is there anything else I should do?"

"The defense attorney will try to confuse you. Just answer his questions briefly and honestly. Do you understand?" Alex studied the teenager with cool blue eyes, and Elissa nodded thoughtfully.

This was, Alex thought, an easy, effortless witness. No one had to convince her to testify. Elissa would do whatever she had to do to get justice for her father.

"Something's wrong with the dice," Elliot muttered after his third low roll in a row.

"Sure, blame the dice," Elissa scoffed at that.

"No, I'm serious," Elliot insisted.

"Seriously bad," Elissa said mockingly.

Elliot rolled doubles, two fours this time. "Oh yeah? Watch this," Elliot said as he won the game. He was undefeated.

"I think you must play this game with all of your witnesses. I'd be really good, too, if I sat around playing backgammon all day," Elissa said lightly.

"You're a sore loser, aren't you?" Elliot said. "I could let you win next time."

"If you're going to let anyone win, let Alex win. She's embarrassing herself." Elissa said, looking over her shoulder at Alex, a tentative smile on her face, uncertain if she'd crossed a line with the woman.

"I'm going to kick his ass this time," Alex retorted. She remembered she was talking to a fourteen year old a second too late and winced. "Sorry. Language."

"I've heard worse. My dad-" Elissa broke off, her grin fading fast.

She used to play video games with her dad. He would curse like a sailor when he lost. That's what she was going to say. Since it hurt to talk about him, hurt to think about him, she didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she wandered over to the bed that was furthest away from Elliot and Alex and lay down facing the wall. She didn't move, not even when Olivia got there to take over for Elliot.

The detectives were taking turns staying with Alex and Elissa in the crib. Antonio was staying with Mike at a military base, but they all thought Elissa should stay at the precinct. One teenage girl with a bunch of young marines was just not a good idea.

"She asleep?" Olivia asked, looking at the teenager, who was curled up on a bed.

Alex nodded. "She's been out for awhile."

Elissa wasn't asleep, but she pretended she was. She didn't feel like talking and Olivia would make her talk. She didn't feel like sleeping either. When she slept, she dreamed.

"I'm not surprised," Olivia said. "She had a nightmare last night."

A nightmare? More like a memory, Elissa thought. Liam Connors, his eyes dark, his mouth a grim line. The gunshot. The blood. It was all real, too real.

"Her and Antonio," Alex murmured.

Olivia let out a breath. "I talked to Mike. Antonio's still scared."

"We don't need his testimony. It would help, but we don't need it. Elissa is going to sit in that courtroom tomorrow looking like the girl next door and she is going to ID Connors as the man who shot her father." Alex let out a short laugh, shook her head. "I can't stop thinking like a prosecutor." Frustration colored her voice and movements.

"You are a prosecutor," Olivia said.

She _was_ a prosecutor, Alex thought, but not anymore. No, now she worked for an insurance agency.

She'd worked her ass off at Harvard Law School and she worked for an insurance agency.

All that education, all that work felt like such a waste.

Up until the Zapata case, Alex's life had been going according to a long-term, carefully thought out plan. She'd _always_ wanted to be a lawyer and then go into politics.

Alex had studied with that goal in mind. She'd been student council president and a member of the debate team in high school, all while maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA. She was accepted into every college she applied to. She graduated from college cum laude with a coveted summer internship for the Senator. After college, she went straight to Harvard Law. She was proud of her accomplishments.

She graduated from Harvard Law with a job offer from the top law firm in New York, but Alex had accepted a position with the DA's office. It would be more work and less pay, but it would help her on her way to office and that was her goal.

In her time as an ADA, Alex earned a reputation as a clearheaded and unrelenting prosecutor. She loved her job. She strongly believed in justice and she knew how to work within the system to get justice for victims. She liked to win and she loved the feeling of satisfaction when the jury read the guilty verdict. And then, she prosecuted Zapata and lost the career she'd worked so hard to build.

Alex put a hand to her chest. "I should be trying the bastard who shot that little boy." She took a deep breath. "When I was a prosecutor, I never went to court without a plan. How do I come up with a plan when I don't even know what makes Connors tick?"

Olivia handed Alex the file on Connors. "Alex. You didn't see this file."

Alex looked at Olivia in surprise. She opened the file, pored over it.

Some of the information she already knew. Connors shot an eight year old boy. He'd killed so many innocent people – Antonio's parents, Elissa's father. Some of the information was new to her though. He raped a woman to make her talk and then he killed her.

And then there was the basic information. Connors had a family in Ireland. Now some prosecutors wouldn't think that was important, but Alex was not one of them. It was more ammunition for her arsenal.

With the grace of experience and a confidence that couldn't be faked, Alex used every piece of information she could get her hands on in the courtroom to show the jury who the defendant really was. She used cold, hard facts to paint a picture.

When she'd memorized the file, Alex closed the manila folder and crossed over to the window. "I wish these windows opened. I want to smell the city."

Olivia joined her at the window. "You mean the rotting garbage and the diesel exhaust?"

"Wisconsin is so quiet at night. Sometimes when I get homesick, I hum the Mr. Softy song." Alex smiled sadly.

Olivia laughed at that, then turned serious. "You making any friends?"

"There's a claims adjuster in the insurance agency where I work and we've been seeing each other. He's a good man. He thinks I'm from Tulsa and when we're in bed together at night he whispers my name, Emily." Her smile was wry.

How could her relationship be real when he didn't even know who she really was? He didn't know her. He didn't know her history, and her past had made her who she was today. He had no idea what she'd been through. He would never be able to understand her. It was like there was a wall between them.

There was a wall between Alex and everyone she met while she was in witness protection. It was lonely, so very lonely.

Olivia studied Alex. "It's hard to be someone that you're not."

* * *

Despite her best efforts to stay awake, Elissa fell into a restless asleep.

It was that night, the night the world had dropped right out from under her.

She was in her dad's room, telling him all about her field trip to the State Capitol with her honors history class. They heard a noise that sounded like it was coming from the living room, the lock tumbling, the door opening and closing, heavy footsteps. Her dad's face went white with terror.

_Get under the bed. Now! Be quiet!_

Something in her dad's voice made Elissa comply without question.

And then the door swung open and a man she'd never seen before was in her dad's room. His face was cold and hard. There was no hesitation there, only murder. He pointed the gun at her dad. She heard the gunshot. It happened so quickly.

She wanted to scream or cry, but she couldn't. She put her hand over her mouth, swallowed. She couldn't move. She knew, without knowing who he was or why he was there, that if he saw her, he would kill her. So, she stayed there, frozen in place under the bed, afraid to move, afraid to breathe, until she was sure he was gone.

There was so much blood. It had soaked through her dad's shirt, dripping onto the bedspread.

"Elissa," Alex said in a calm, steady voice.

The teenager had been crying in her sleep. She woke up from the uneasy sleep at the sound of her name, her heart pounding, the large Knicks t-shirt she slept in soaked with sweat. Her blue eyes looked around the unfamiliar surroundings frantically.

Elissa saw Alex first and then Olivia...she was in the crib. Olivia was still asleep in the bed closest to the door, her gun well within reach, but Alex was awake and staring down at her with light sympathy on her face.

Earlier, in Casey's office, Elissa had looked like a teenager, but now…now with her strawberry blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and tired, tearful eyes, Elissa looked about ten years old.

"Did I wake you?" Elissa asked, looking up at Alex apologetically.

Alex shook her head. "No. I couldn't sleep."

Because she didn't want to go back to sleep, Elissa sat up in the bed. She leaned her head back against the wall and took a deep, steadying breath.

"Elissa? Are you ok?" Alex asked.

Elissa let out a breath. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Alex gave her a long look as if deciding for herself.

"Don't worry, Alex. I'll testify. I'll look like – what was it, again? The girl next door?" There was a teasing lilt to the teenager's voice and her lips curved into a brief half-smile. "And I'll ID Liam Connors." Elissa's voice was serious now, all traces of humor gone.

Alex widened her eyes in realization. "You were awake."

"I wasn't eavesdropping. I just didn't want to talk and I didn't want to sleep," Elissa said quickly, avoiding Alex's gaze.

Alex smiled at her. "It's ok."

Elissa really hadn't been eavesdropping. She had tuned most of their conversation out, only listening when she heard her name.

"You're a lawyer?" Elissa mused, something obviously on her mind.

Alex nodded. "Yes, I am."

"Do you know what you have to do to get emancipated?" Elissa blurted out, meeting Alex's gaze.

Alex was expecting a question about the trial. She wasn't expecting the fourteen year old to ask her about legal emancipation, but it did nothing to ruffle her cool.

"Elissa, you cannot be legally emancipated. No judge would approve that," Alex told her.

Obviously insulted, Elissa lifted her chin. "Why not? Judges approve it for child stars that party hard. I'm more responsible than they are."

"At the very least, you have to be sixteen before a judge will even consider it," Alex told her. "And even then it's not likely."

"That sucks," Elissa muttered.

Alex considered the teenager. "Why?"

"They're moving me – where, I don't know. But I'll be living with complete and total strangers. And aren't most of the people in witness protection like retired mobsters?" Elissa made a face.

Because she would be in the witness protection program, they would place Elissa with a family who was in the witness protection program. Casey had explained this to her.

The teenager wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of living with a virtual stranger – any stranger, let alone a criminal in the witness protection program. She could be living with someone like Liam Connors, someone who had killed.

Alex smiled. "Not all of them. I'm not."

"No one asked me if I wanted to be in the witness protection program. No one asked me if I wanted to move. No one asked me about any of this." Elissa's voice rose a little, not quite yelling, but not quiet either.

Alex glanced over her shoulder at Olivia, who, miraculously, was still sleeping, and then turned back to the obviously upset teenager. "It's the only way they can keep you safe."

Elissa knit her brow. "But you said Liam Connors would go to jail."

"He will." Alex inclined her head. "But the man he was working for is still out there."

"The man he was working for? Someone hired him to kill my dad?" Elissa said, frowning.

Alex nodded. "Yes."

"Why don't they arrest him then?" Elissa asked.

Alex smiled wryly. "It's not that easy."

When Olivia woke up, Alex and Elissa had their heads nestled together, and Olivia wondered what they were talking about. Olivia rose, stretched, and sauntered over to them. "Hey. How long have you two been up?"

Elissa shot Alex an uneasy look. She didn't know if Alex would tell Olivia that she had a nightmare. She didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to think about the night her dad died. It was enough that she would have to relive it in court.

"Well, I didn't sleep," Alex said, and Elissa let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Do you want coffee?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, but not from here and we can't leave." Alex remembered the stale coffee in the station from her time as ADA.

No, thank you, Alex thought. She wanted coffee from her favorite coffee shop in New York. She hadn't found a coffee shop in Wisconsin that she liked as well. New York had the best restaurants, the best shopping. God, she missed it.

Olivia smiled. "I'll call Elliot. Elissa, what do you want for breakfast?"

"I'll have a coffee," Elissa said, and Alex and Olivia exchanged a look.

Olivia studied the fourteen year old. "Did your dad let you drink coffee?"

"Yes." Elissa shot Olivia a look as if to say _what's the big deal?_

"How about orange juice instead?" Olivia suggested.

Elissa rolled her eyes. "That's ok. I don't want anything."

Olivia sighed. "Ok. One cup of coffee _if_ you eat something."

"I'll have a bagel," Elissa told her.

Olivia called her partner and told him what they wanted. "Ok, he's on his way."

When Elliot knocked on the door, Olivia drew her weapon.

"Liv, it's me. Let me in," Elliot's voice came through the closed door. Olivia put her gun back in its holster and opened the door for him.

Elliot set the tray of drinks and bag of bagels down. He handed a cup of coffee to Alex, who accepted it gratefully. She took a sip of coffee and let out a satiated breath.

Olivia got her cup and Elissa's cup. She held a coffee out to the teenager, but held onto it for a second. "Where's your bagel?" Olivia reminded her, raising an eyebrow.

Elissa grabbed a bagel out of the bag, and Olivia relinquished her hold on her cup.

Elliot lifted his eyebrows. "You want some cream with that?" Elliot said, his lips curving into a smirk.

Elissa cocked her head, wondered if he was just being a smart ass or if he actually had cream. "Do you actually have cream?"

"Yeah, there's cream in the break room." Elliot started for the door, looked back over his shoulder. "Sugar?"

"Yes, please. Thank you!" Elissa called.

* * *

Alex took a deep breath and walked into the familiar courtroom, flanked by Agent Hammond. Casey was already there, at the prosecutor's table, where Alex should have been. It felt _wrong_ to sit at the witness stand.

When she was a prosecutor, Alex had always been in control in the courtroom. Now, it was out of her hands. Alex hated that feeling.

Alex answered all of Casey's questions just like they'd practiced in Casey's office, but she wasn't cooperating for the cross-examination.

"Did you see my client shoot you?" Kressler asked.

"I saw his gun aimed at my heart," Alex said deliberately.

"Please, Ms. Cabot, just answer the question. On the night that you were shot, did you see Liam Connors anywhere in the vicinity?" Kressler tried again.

"No. But he's a coward. He likes to run away. Did you leave a family behind in Ireland Mr. Connors?" Alex said, getting personal.

"Your honor…"

"Ms. Cabot, please," the judge said.

Frowning, Casey narrowed her green eyes at her predecessor. Alex wasn't answering his questions. She was asking questions, _prosecutor_ questions. And it was pretty obvious she'd seen the file on Liam Connors.

"You have absolutely no idea who shot you, do you?" Kressler stated.

There was a mixture of fire and ice in Alex's blue eyes. "Oh, I have an idea. It's the kind of man who likes to rape a woman to make her talk."

Tired of the game, the defense attorney turned to face her wearily. "Let me rephrase the question – did you see Liam Connors shoot you?"

Alex set her teeth. "No," Alex admitted grudgingly, "but I know it was him," she added with conviction.

"Objection, your honor."

She was so close. And then, as she'd done a hundred times before as a prosecutor, Alex crushed Liam Connors.

"It takes a lot of balls to shoot an unarmed woman and a sleeping child. It's too bad your aim wasn't a little better," Alex said, baiting Connors.

Liam Connors jumped to his feet in anger. "You think you're safe? They know where you are. You should've stayed dead."

A corner of Alex's mouth twisted into a satisfied smirk. It was, she thought, exactly the reaction she had wanted. His choir boy image was shattered. His true colors were coming out now, and they weren't pretty.

Elissa was up next. Alex gave the teenager an encouraging smile as they crossed paths in the hallway.

"Hey, Alex. How do I look? Girl-next-door enough for you?" Elissa said.

The teenager looked every bit the part of the girl next door with her strawberry blonde hair half-up, off her baby-face, and big blue eyes. She was wearing a white button down shirt, grey vest and black skirt. She'd wanted to look nice and maybe a little more mature, but she just looked adorable. The jury would love her.

Alex smiled down at her. "You look nice."

After the teenager disappeared into the courtroom, Agent Hammond pulled Alex aside.

"We're moving you, Elissa, and Antonio to new identities as soon as the trial is over," Agent Hammond informed her.

Resigned, Alex let out a breath. "I know."

"Elissa and Antonio are going into the program by themselves," Agent Hammond began.

Alex nodded. "I know."

"Foster care isn't an option. The only option we have is to place them with families in the program, people who understand the risks and restrictions," Agent Hammond told her.

Alex narrowed her eyes. "Are you asking me what I think you're asking?" Her voice was incredulous.

What he was suggesting was ridiculous.

Alex wanted to help the teenager and the little boy. She wanted to be the one in that courtroom prosecuting the man who killed Antonio's parents and Elissa's father. She wanted to get justice for them. That was how she could help them. That was her job…or at least it had been. And she was good at it. It wasn't her job to parent two traumatized kids. It was too much. She didn't know if she could do it. She couldn't do it.

She couldn't parent a teenager and an eight year old. She wasn't married. She wasn't even dating anyone. Well, she was, but she would never see him again. They were relocating her to a new city where she would know no one. She would have no one to help her.

Alex wanted to have a family at some point, but not now. She always thought she would marry a nice man and have kids, in that order.

"Marshals were able to place Antonio with a family that has a son about his age. We're working on placing Elissa permanently. It would only be temporary," Agent Hammond said, his eyes pleading with her.

Alex wasn't good with teenagers.

How many teenage victims had lied to her when she was the ADA with the Special Victims Unit? Too many. Teenagers did stupid things that hurt her case when all Alex was trying to do was get justice for them. She didn't understand them.

Alex thought she understood Elissa a little better than most though. They both wanted the same thing – for Liam Connors to pay for what he did. They both lost everything because of him.

Alex sighed. "Define temporary."

"It would just be until we can place her permanently," Agent Hammond said.

Alex thought for a moment, let out a small sigh. "Let me see her file."

While Alex read Elissa's file, Casey was in the courtroom, asking very specific questions to build credibility for the teenager.

"What happened on Monday night?" Casey began.

"I got home around nine," Elissa said at once.

"Where were you before that?" Casey already knew the answer, but she wanted the jury to hear it. Elissa had been studying for a science test. The ADA was trying to establish that this was a good student, a good kid.

"I was at my friend, Taylor's house. We were studying for our science test and her mom invited me to stay for dinner. After dinner, I took the subway home," Elissa said.

God, it felt like so long ago that she'd been studying with her best friend. They'd quizzed each other, talked about boys and laughed. Elissa missed her test. She couldn't go back to school, not while she was a star witness in the case against Liam Connors, not ever.

Casey moved so she was right in front of the witness stand. "What happened when you got home?"

Elissa took a deep breath. "I went into my dad's room. He was already in bed reading. I was telling him about my field trip when we heard a noise. It sounded like it was coming from the living room."

"What kind of noise?" Casey interjected.

"We heard a door shut and someone walking around," Elissa replied.

"What did your dad do?" Casey prompted.

"He told me to get under the bed and be quiet." Elissa's voice cracked.

"And did you?" Casey asked.

Elissa nodded. "Yes."

Casey clasped her hands in front of her. "What happened next?"

Telling the judge what happened was like losing her dad all over again. A fresh wave of grief hit Elissa.

Elissa looked up, making eye contact with Connors. His eyes were so dark. She swallowed. "Liam Connors came into my dad's room." Her eyes and voice hardened. "He shot my dad."

Casey took a few steps away from the witness stand, speaking to the jury more than Elissa now. "He shot your dad with the same gun used to shoot seven other people. No further questions." Casey started back to her seat.

Kressler rose. "Now, Ms. Cook, you said you were under the bed when my client shot your dad. Did he see you?"

Elissa frowned. "No. If he saw me, I would be dead."

"Objection," Kressler said loudly.

"Sustained," the judge stated.

"If my client didn't see you, how did you see him?" Kressler mused, trying to catch the teenager off guard.

Elissa lifted her chin. "I was under the bed. I saw him when he walked in. I saw his face. I saw him raise the gun. I heard the gunshot. Liam Connors shot my dad."

Kressler frowned. "What did you do when your dad was shot?"

Elissa shook her head, her eyes filling. "Nothing."

"Your dad was shot and you didn't do anything? You didn't say anything? You didn't cry? Scream? You didn't try to help him?" There was incredulity in his voice.

"No, because I knew Liam Connors would shoot me," Elissa said.

Guilt and sorrow clutched her chest, but Elissa held her own. The jury only saw a confident and poised young woman.

Olivia stood when Elissa stepped down from the witness stand and they walked out of the courtroom together.

Alex, Agent Hammond, Mike and Antonio were waiting in the hallway. The eight year old hadn't decided if he would testify yet. If he didn't testify, it was all going to come down to Elissa's testimony. With that in mind, Alex cut her eyes to Olivia, and Olivia nodded. "She did great." Olivia glanced down at the teenager, but Elissa avoided her gaze.

"Elissa!" Antonio ran over to her excitedly.

Elissa managed a smile. "Hey, Antonio."

"Did you see the ghost?" Antonio asked anxiously.

Elissa remembered Connors' face, tight with anger, and nodded. "Yeah."

"Were you scared?" Antonio wondered.

"No. There's nothing to be scared of. There are a lot of people in there and some of them are cops. They won't let him hurt you." Elissa's voice was confident, and Antonio believed her.

Alex knelt down next to Antonio. "Antonio, what do you want to do?" She struggled to come across as neutral when she wanted him to testify.

Antonio looked up at Elissa. "Did you tell the judge what the ghost did to your dad?"

Antonio was at the age where he wanted to be like the older kids. If Elissa had testified against the ghost, he wanted to do it, too.

Elissa nodded. She was going over her answers in her mind. She didn't know what the jury had thought. Did they think she was a terrible person? She'd done nothing, absolutely nothing, when her dad was shot. She could have tried to stop the blood or called an ambulance…but no, she'd stayed hidden under the bed. She was a coward.

Antonio thought for a moment. "I want to tell the judge what he did to my parents."

The eight year old grabbed Mike's hand and they walked into the courtroom. Elissa stayed with Olivia and Alex, but stood away from them. The teenager was there, but she wasn't really there. Her mind was somewhere else, on what she could have done differently, _should_ have done.

"I hope Kressler goes easier on him than he did on Elissa," Olivia muttered to Alex.

Alex stiffened, glanced at the teenager. "What did he do?"

"Well, first, he questioned how she saw Connors when he didn't see her, and then when that didn't work, he tried to make her feel guilty because she didn't do anything when her dad was shot," Olivia told her.

"Ass," Alex said, and she wanted to be the one in that courtroom, kicking Kressler's ass.

Worried about Elissa, Olivia tried to get her attention. "Elissa? Hey. Why don't you come over here with us?"

Elissa moved closer to Olivia and Alex, but left a little bit of space between them.

Olivia tried to make eye contact, but Elissa looked down at the floor. "Hey, you know nothing the defense attorney said in there was true, right? You did the only thing you could. You survived."

"I could have helped him. I could have tried to stop the blood, or called an ambulance," Elissa said in a hollow voice.

Olivia shook her head. "No. He would have killed you." Her voice was firm and sure.

"He didn't kill Antonio," Elissa pointed out.

"He tried," Olivia told her.

Elissa shifted her gaze to Alex. "How long does it take the jury to decide?"

"It depends," Alex replied. She studied the teenager for a moment. "Elissa, they will convict him."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

They convicted Liam Connors, guilty on all counts.

Alex, Elissa, and Antonio had to leave as soon as the trial was over.

Alex didn't want to go. It was hard to be back home only to leave again. She wanted to stay. There was so much she wanted to do in New York. She wanted to visit her mother's grave. She wanted to see her aunt and uncle, her only living relatives in the city. She wanted to go to her favorite restaurant, a small, family-owned Italian restaurant. But she couldn't.

Alex wasn't safe in New York, and Liam Connors made sure she knew that - in open court, no less.

_You think you're safe? They know where you are. You should've stayed dead._

It wasn't an idle threat, Alex knew from experience. The last time one of Cesar Velez's cronies threatened her, she was shot at on a crowded street when she was with Olivia and Elliot.

If she wasn't safe with two NYPD detectives, she wasn't safe anywhere in New York. She didn't complain as the marshals escorted them out of the courthouse. She knew she had to leave.

Antonio, however, complained loudly, when he realized Mike wasn't coming with them.

Mike had been the one constant for the eight year old since his parents were shot. It had been Mike that found him, Mike that spoke to him in his native tongue, Mike who stayed with him.

Antonio stopped walking on the steps of the courthouse, refusing to move.

When Marshal Henderson put a hand on the kid's shoulder, Antonio shrugged it off and took a step backwards, away from the U.S. marshals.

Marshal Henderson and Marshal Wheeler exchanged a look.

They were U.S. marshals, not babysitters. They'd never had a witness this young go into the witness protection program alone. Neither of them had kids and they didn't quite know what to do with the mutinous eight year old.

Alex had never been good with kids the way Olivia was, but she had worked with them for years. She turned to Antonio, fully prepared to talk him down, but Elissa beat her to it.

The teenager talked to the younger kid in a sweet voice and he took her hand. She let go of his hand for just a moment so he could put his jacket on, but didn't bother to put her own light blue fleece on.

The black Suburban was parked right in front of the courthouse. They were only outside for a minute, and then Antonio, Elissa and Alex piled into the backseat. Elissa volunteered to sit in the uncomfortable middle seat.

Their bags were already in the back, Elissa noticed, and wondered when the marshals had time to load the car.

She'd only been allowed to pack one bag. She couldn't fit everything she'd accumulated in thirteen years in one bag. Years of trophies and awards, her impressive collection of books, her CDs, the laptop her dad got her when she got into York Prep were all back in her room. She'd been told no pictures. She didn't have one picture of her dad. She was sad, but she didn't complain. Not once.

The teenager was surprisingly easy, right up until the marshals took her cell phone, student ID, library card, and subway pass. Alex had already given them her Blackberry, Wisconsin driver's license, and credit cards. In typical teenager fashion, the fourteen year old didn't want to part with her cell phone.

"Contacting someone back home is too big a risk," Marshal Wheeler said, and Elissa handed the pink flip phone over begrudgingly. He raised his eyebrows. "Your MetroCard?"

"I just put more money on it," Elissa protested.

"You won't be using it where you're going," Marshal Wheeler told her.

"I'll use it when I'm in college then," Elissa said.

"You're not going to college in New York," Marshal Wheeler told her.

The teenager stared at him. "Yes, I am. I want to go to Columbia. My dad went there."

Elissa had always wanted to go to Columbia. Everything she'd done - going to York Prep instead of the public high school, the difficult schedule of honors courses and AP courses, the extracurricular activities - were so she would get into the selective school. It's what her dad wanted for her and she wanted to make him proud, now more than ever.

"Your dad wasn't in the witness protection program," Marshal Wheeler pointed out, turning around to look at her. "Don't you get it? You can't go back to New York. There are people there who want you dead. If you go to college in New York, they will kill you."

"There are a lot of great schools that aren't in New York." There was no sympathy in Alex's voice. That wasn't what the teenager needed right now. The fourteen year old was already feeling sorry for herself.

With great reluctance, Elissa placed her MetroCard in Marshal Wheeler's hand. All Elissa had left in her purse was twenty dollars, a pack of gum, chapstick, a half-eaten package of Starburst from the vending machine at school, and keys to an apartment she would never go back to.

The rest of the car ride to the small airport was silent. They boarded a stripped down government jet. Antonio promptly announced that he wanted to sit by Elissa, and everyone eyed the sullen teenager warily. She'd been a big help with the eight year old, but that was before - before they'd confiscated her cell phone and before they'd crushed her dream of going to Columbia. To their immense relief, Elissa merely smiled weakly at the boy and took a seat next to him.

The teenager pulled a pack of gum out of her purse, offered Antonio some before she took a piece. Then she pulled a dog-eared copy of Slaughterhouse-Five out of her backpack. She wanted to finish her book, but she closed it and listened patiently when Antonio started talking to her. She feigned interest in Antonio's last trip on an airplane.

Once they were in the air with the city of New York behind them, the marshals supplied them with their new identities.

Alex was now Kate Reynolds. Kate had a North Carolina driver's license, a Visa card, and a bank account. She was from Tampa, Florida.

Elissa was Sarah Reynolds, but it was, Marshal Henderson stressed, only temporary.

The teenager knit her brow, cut her big blue eyes to Alex. "Wait, does that mean…?"

Was she staying with Alex? Elissa didn't want to say it in case she was wrong, didn't want to get her hopes up.

It would still be a little awkward. She didn't know Alex well, but Elissa understood that staying with her would be better than staying with someone she didn't know anything about, someone who was most likely a retired criminal.

Plus, Elissa liked Alex. She had liked her almost from the moment Alex stepped foot into Casey's office. The cool blonde just exuded confidence and commanded respect. Alex believed that Liam Connors would pay for what he did, and Elissa believed Alex with her cocky confidence. Alex's calm certainty had made Elissa feel a little bit better. Alex was, by all accounts, an intelligent, sharp ADA.

And then Elissa saw a different side to the serious, no-nonsense attorney in the crib when they played Backgammon and talked. It was, Elissa thought, their talk that had cemented her high opinion of Alex. The woman had talked to her like an adult, an equal instead of treating her like a child. When Elissa woke up from a nightmare, Alex hadn't made her talk about it as Olivia had done the night before. Instead, they had talked about emancipation, the witness protection program, and the trial. Alex had been open and honest with her, never patronizing or condescending.

"Kate is your aunt. Your parents just died in a car crash and you're staying with her," Marshal Henderson said.

"Until they can place you with a family in the witness protection program," Alex put in.

The thinly veiled hope on the teenager's face morphed into disappointment. Alex didn't want to hurt Elissa, but she wanted to make sure everyone involved knew it was only temporary.

Alex was honest, and she wasn't going to lie to the teenager or give her false hope.

Alex wasn't a mother or an aunt. Her experience with children was limited to prepping victims for trial and grilling kids who had committed a crime. She wasn't qualified to parent a fourteen year old.

Normally, she would never take a witness home with her under any circumstances, but there was nothing normal about this situation. It was Olivia who got too close to the kids they worked with, and Alex who reminded her of the law, the procedure, the process they had to follow. In this case, they couldn't simply call Child Protective Services. A foster family, as Agent Hammond told her, wouldn't understand the risks and restrictions of the witness protection program.

Elissa gave the marshals a knowing look. "How many families have you asked so far?"

Marshal Wheeler cleared his throat, a sheepish look on his face. "Six."

Elissa raised her eyebrows. "You know, I could always live alone."

Marshal Wheeler made a derisive snorting sound, exchanged a look with Marshal Henderson. "You're fourteen."

"So? I can cook and I can walk to school," Elissa said.

The marshals were at a loss for words. They didn't know what to do with the rebellious fourteen year old any more than they'd known what to do with the mutinous eight year old.

Alex pursed her lips and then spoke up. "What if something happened to you?"

Alex knew exactly what could happen to a fourteen year old girl. In her years as ADA for the Special Victims Unit, she had heard thousands of stories of kidnapping, rape, and assault. No one would know that anything had happened to Elissa if she lived alone and didn't come home one night.

Elissa met Alex's gaze with clear blue eyes. "What could happen? And don't you live alone? What if something happened to you?"

Surprised that the fourteen year old had turned it around on her, Alex could only smile, her lips twitching in spite of herself. "Touché."

"What's going to happen to me?" Antonio interjected.

It was, the marshals had discovered, a lot harder to place a moody teenage girl than a sweet little boy.

"Your name is Anton Perez. You're going to be staying with Mr. and Mrs. Perez. Mr. Perez is your uncle. You can call him Uncle Luis and his wife is Aunt Maria. They have a son about your age. His name is Jaime," Marshal Wheeler replied.

"I wanna stay with Elissa and Alex," Antonio whined.

"I'm not staying with Alex. It's temporary," Elissa said, rolling her eyes. "And we can still hang out."

Antonio bit his bottom lip. "We can?"

Elissa smiled at him. "Any time."

When they arrived in North Carolina, Marshal Wheeler dropped Antonio off with the Perez family and Marshal Henderson took Alex and Elissa to a modest two-story house.

The furniture she'd had in Wisconsin had, Alex saw, been moved to the new house by the marshals. None of it was her furniture, the furniture she'd picked out with her mother. Downstairs there was a tasteful ivory couch and a grey armchair in the living room, a dark wood dinette table and four matching chairs in the small dining room area. Alex and Elissa followed Marshal Henderson upstairs. There was a queen-size bed and a nightstand in the master bedroom. Alex set her suitcase down in the closet, where the clothes she'd bought in Wisconsin were already hanging, although not, Alex noted with a slight frown, organized by color like they had been when she left Wisconsin. Alex had used the second bedroom in her house in Wisconsin as an office. She didn't need a guest room. Her family and friends all thought she was dead, so they wouldn't be visiting. Her desk was in the second bedroom here and there was also a full-size mattress on a bed frame. That was new, and Alex assumed the marshals had set it up for Elissa.

Elissa glanced at Alex uncertainly, waiting for the older woman to tell her where she could put her stuff.

"You can stay in this room," Alex said, and it sounded more like a question than a statement. It was, after all, the first time she'd been in the house.

Elissa promptly set her suitcase and backpack down on the floor.

"I'm going to go unpack," Alex announced.

"Are you going to unpack?" Marshal Henderson asked the teenager.

The marshal wanted to check her bag, see if the teenager had anything she wasn't allowed to have – family pictures, a school sweatshirt, anything that would connect her to New York.

"I wasn't going to. What's the point? I'll just have to pack again when you find a family I can stay with." Elissa's voice was weary.

Marshal Henderson wisely decided not to argue with the teenager. Instead, they migrated to the living room, where he went over the rules of the program.

"All contact with friends and family from your past must cease," he stated. "You may not talk, call, text, email, IM with anyone. Nothing. If they can find you, so can the people who want you dead."

"My grandmother and my friends-" Elissa winced. "Do they think I'm dead?"

The thought of her grandmother and her friends attending her funeral made Elissa feel sick. She remembered her dad's funeral, the pain, the grief, the misery still fresh. Her grandmother had just buried her only son. Attending a fake funeral for her granddaughter would kill her. She couldn't – wouldn't – do that to them.

"No," Marshal Henderson answered simply.

Relieved, Elissa let out a breath, nodded.

"You may not participate in any sport that connects you to your former life. No basketball," Marshal Henderson continued.

Incredulous, Elissa just stared at him when he said that. "I'm sorry, I can't play basketball?"

Her dad taught her how to play basketball, and she was pretty good at it. She had the trophies to prove it. She tried out for the girl's basketball team in high school and made it as a freshman. She would need extracurricular activities, she knew, if she wanted to get into Columbia – or any other Ivy League school. It wasn't enough to have straight A's. Everyone that applied to those schools had good grades.

"You were on your high school basketball team in New York," Marshal Henderson reminded her.

"And?" Elissa said with a bit of attitude.

"There are away games and championships. Someone recognizing you is too big a risk," Marshal Henderson said.

"This sucks," Elissa muttered, and stormed out of the room.

The teenager blew by Alex on the stairs, and Alex heard a door slam seconds later.

Alex took a seat in the armchair, looked at Marshal Henderson warily. "What happened?"

"It's been a rough day. You two should get some rest. There's enough food for a couple of days. There's a car in the garage." Marshal Henderson gave Alex a keychain. "As soon as we place the kid permanently, I'll let you know."

Alex walked him out, locked the door and turned the deadbolt when he left.

It had been bittersweet, going back to New York, seeing Olivia and Elliot, being in the courtroom again, even as a witness. It reminded her of how much she'd lost.

Alex was used to being alone. She'd had to get used to it. A year and a half ago, she'd been thrown into a new city where she knew no one, and now…now she was starting over. Again. Somehow she felt more alone now, after spending a few days in New York surrounded by her friends. But she wasn't alone, Alex remembered, and went up, knocked on Elissa's door, more because she felt like she had to than because she wanted to talk to the broody teenager.

"Come in," Elissa called.

Alex opened the door, avoided the unpacked suitcase that was in the middle of the floor, and walked over to the bed, where Elissa was lying down.

The teenager had changed out of the clothes she'd worn to court. She was wearing a navy hooded sweatshirt and grey sweatpants now. She took her headphones off, turned to look at Alex, propping herself up on her elbows. "Did he leave?" The anger in her voice was directed at Marshal Henderson.

"Yes." Alex sat down on the bed. "He's just doing his job."

"I know," Elissa admitted, and she sounded tired, so tired.

"I understand how hard this is, but this is the best choice of only bad choices," Alex said.

"I didn't have a choice," Elissa said hotly.

"You chose to testify," Alex pointed out calmly.

Elissa shot up. "Liam Connors shot my dad."

"And you are the reason for the guilty verdict," Alex told her.

Elissa looked away, blushing. "It wasn't all me."

"I couldn't ID him and we didn't even know if Antonio would testify. Without your testimony, I don't think we would have won the case. You did a good thing," Alex said.

"Then why does it feel like I'm being punished?" Elissa said miserably.

Alex sighed. "What's right isn't always easy."

Elissa realized how childish she sounded, hated it. She was usually so mature, and yet here she was complaining after only one day in the witness protection program when Alex had been in the witness protection program for longer and never complained, not once.

"I'm sorry. God, I'm already complaining and it's only been one day. You've been in the witness protection program for…" Elissa broke off, looked at Alex uncertainly.

"I've been in witness protection for more than a year," Alex said quietly.

"More than a year," Elissa echoed, "and you haven't said anything."

"Not this time." Alex gave the girl a small smile.

Elissa looked down. "You must think I'm being a baby."

"I wasn't exactly the most cooperative when they moved me to Wisconsin," Alex confessed.

Elissa looked up with interest. "You weren't?"

Alex smiled. "Agent Hammond said I was a pain in the ass."

"Really? What did you do?" Elissa asked.

"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye to Olivia and Elliot. I think Agent Hammond arranged the meeting just to get me to shut up," Alex told her with a small laugh.

"They weren't going to let you say goodbye?" An indignant, angry flush stained the strawberry blonde's porcelain cheeks.

Alex shook her head. "Everyone thought I was dead. My mother, the man I was seeing, my friends, the detectives…they all thought I was dead. Slain ADA. That's what it said on the front page of the ledger."

Genuine sympathy shimmered in Elissa's big blue eyes. "Did you get to say goodbye to them? Your mom and your boyfriend?"

"Too risky," Alex muttered. "They threatened my mother. They knew where she lived. The man I was seeing a defense attorney. He couldn't know."

Elissa cringed. "It wasn't Kressler, was it?"

"No," Alex said quickly. She cocked her head, looked at Elissa. "Do you really think I would date that sleazeball?"

The teenager shrugged. "You said he was a defense attorney."

"Not all defense attorneys are like Kressler," Alex told the teenager.

"I don't like him," Elissa said quietly.

"Well, neither do I," Alex said. She decided it was time to change the subject, past time actually, and started for the door. "So what do you want for dinner?"

The teenager knew what Alex was doing, and she also knew that she'd asked questions that weren't really any of her business. "I don't care. Whatever you want is fine."

Alex led the way down to the kitchen. Admittedly she wasn't much of a cook. She surveyed the contents of the refrigerator, decided that she trusted herself to make pasta. She found a pot in the kitchen cabinets, started the water boiling.

"Can I help with anything?" Elissa asked solicitously.

Alex took a box of noodles out of the cupboard. "You can make the salad."

Elissa pulled ingredients out of the refrigerator, set them on the counter behind her.

Alex watched the fourteen year old slice a cucumber into neat strips as she waited for the water to boil. "You told the marshals you can cook?"

Elissa nodded. "My grandmother taught me. I usually cooked dinner. I got home from basketball practice before my dad got home from work."

"You play basketball?" Alex said.

"Used to," Elissa corrected. Her voice was harsher than she intended.

"You're not going to play here?" Alex sounded a little surprised.

"I can't. Marshal Henderson said there's too big a risk of someone recognizing me at away games and championships." The teenager rolled her eyes.

Alex pursed her lips. "Do you do anything else?"

"Well, I was on student council," Elissa muttered.

"I was class president when I was in high school," Alex said conversationally.

"I was vice president," Elissa said. "I was also on choir."

Alex saw the long list of extracurricular activities for what it was.

"That's a lot of extracurricular activities," Alex commented. "That's good. You'll need extracurricular activities when you apply to college."

Especially, Alex thought, if she wanted to go to an Ivy League school.

"I know. I don't know what I'm going to do now." Elissa let out a small sigh. "Find a different sport to play, I guess."

"I didn't play any sports," Alex said.

Elissa considered that, gave Alex an appraising look. "Where did you go to school?"

"Harvard." Alex smirked when the teenager looked suitably impressed. "For undergrad and law school."

"Do you think you'll ever go back? To New York and your job?" Elissa wondered.

Alex turned away from the teenager, busied herself with stirring the pot. "No."

Elissa knit her brow, studied Alex. "But you could, right? I mean, if you wanted to?"

Alex let out a breath. "I could if I wanted to die."

Elissa bit her bottom lip, frowned. "But…you went to Harvard. You went to law school. How can you just accept that everything you worked for doesn't mean anything anymore?"

"You just have to tough it out," Alex said tightly.

"Does it ever get any easier?" Elissa asked.

Alex still woke up every morning and hoped against hope that Cesar Velez would be extradited. She knew it was unlikely. No one would prosecute him, not after what happened to her.

Every time someone had said her name…Emily, every morning when she went to work at the insurance agency brought back the pain and loss.

"No," Alex said quietly.

Elissa sighed, gave Alex a small smile. "You know, most people would have lied and told me it would get better."

Alex dropped the spoon. She should have lied. It's what anyone else, including Olivia, would have done. Olivia always knew what to do with kids, and Alex…didn't. This was exactly why Alex didn't want the fourteen year old to stay with her.

"At least you're honest," Elissa continued, and Alex realized it was meant as a compliment.

Alex peered at the teenager. "Is that a good thing?"

"Yes," Elissa said immediately. "You tell the truth. You don't say things because you think they sound good. I know I can believe it if you say it."

It should have been awkward, making dinner together, but it wasn't. The blonde woman and the strawberry blonde girl hadn't spent that much time together. Alex hadn't spent that much time with _any_ teenager outside of work. Still, it was somehow easier to talk to Elissa than the people who thought Alex was Emily, or now Kate, even if Elissa was fourteen. With the teenager, Alex didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't. The teenager understood what it was like in a way that none of her friends or family possibly could have. The shared experience of losing their lives back in New York bonded them faster anything else could have. And that wasn't, Alex realized as they talked, all they had in common. They talked through dinner and an episode of ER before the teenager said goodnight and went upstairs to get ready for bed and read.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Her eyes flew open, took in the unfamiliar room. It wasn't her dad's room, and her dad wasn't lying on his bed, his blood soaking through his shirt. It wasn't her room with her bed with her brightly colored quilt. It wasn't the crib in the sixteenth precinct, where she'd slept since her father's murder. It took Elissa a moment to remember where she was – the second bedroom in Alex's house in North Carolina. The lamp was still on and the book Elissa had been reading was on the bed next to her. She must have fallen asleep reading.

Her big blue eyes were wet with tears and her breath came out in a shuddering sob as she sat up in bed. Her instinct was to wipe the tears away before anyone saw them and stifle the sob, but there wasn't, Elissa realized, anyone there to see. It was the first time the teenager had woken up alone since this nightmare began. Olivia had always been there, waking Elissa up from the bad dreams, making her talk, comforting her.

Alone for the first time, Elissa allowed herself to cry, her shoulders heaving with hard sobs. She cried for what she'd lost, her dad, her home, her friends…her entire life. Once she started crying, Elissa couldn't stop the helpless, hopeless tears from a seemingly bottomless well of grief. Only when she felt the beginnings of a headache did she take a couple deep breaths. Eventually the tears stopped and her breathing evened out.

Elissa got out of bed, padded to the bathroom and washed her tear-streaked face with cold water.

She couldn't go back to sleep, wouldn't want to even if she could. She went downstairs quietly, trying not to wake Alex.

The teenager turned the TV on. She immediately turned the volume down and then flipped through the channels. It was three am and the only things on were infomercials, reruns of old sitcoms, and ESPN classics. She put an old basketball game on and got comfortable on the couch.

She wasn't, Elissa realized, uncomfortable in the house. Oh, it wasn't home. It never would be. But she was comfortable in the house and comfortable with Alex. She felt like she could talk to Alex, like Alex understood.

They were going to place her with a family who was in the witness protection program, but it would be different with a family. The main difference was that the family had gone into witness protection together, as a family. They may have moved to a new city and changed their names, but at least they were together. It wouldn't be as hard, Elissa didn't think, if her dad was there. Elissa was alone, completely and utterly alone. The family she would stay with wouldn't understand that, couldn't understand that.

When she heard the shower running upstairs, Elissa went into the kitchen. She wanted to make herself useful. She was going to make breakfast. Maybe if she was a good roommate, Alex would change her mind. Maybe, just maybe, Alex wouldn't send her away the first chance she got. Elissa made a pot of coffee, cracked eggs, fried bacon.

Alex stepped into the kitchen, showered and dressed in a red sweater and jeans. Her wardrobe had changed from tailored suits to more casual clothes once she'd moved to Wisconsin. She would have been overdressed if she'd worn a suit to the insurance agency. She was one of the best dressed as it was, wearing sweaters and skirts that she never would have worn to court.

Elissa was still in the wrinkled sweats she'd slept in, but she'd been up for awhile, long enough to make omelets. The teenager moved to the stove with competence.

Alex paused in the doorway. "Is that bacon?"

Elissa nodded, her ponytail bobbing. "I made breakfast for you."

"You didn't have to do that," Alex said.

Elissa shrugged, looked up at Alex uncertainly. "I wanted to do something nice for you, to thank you."

Alex stared at her blankly. "Thank me for what?"

"Letting me stay here," Elissa said simply, reaching for the plates. "I didn't know what you like. I was going to make pancakes, too, but-"

"Oh, omelets are fine," Alex interjected, flashing her a quick, gracious smile.

The omelet wasn't fine, Alex decided. It was delicious.

Elissa took a sip of coffee, looked at Alex nervously. "Is it ok?"

"It's good," Alex said sincerely, and Elissa beamed.

* * *

It wasn't York Prep, the beautiful old building with an imposing presence, Elissa thought, when Alex parked in a visitor space outside the local high school, an unimpressive one-story orange-red brick building.

Alex glanced at the teenager from the driver's seat. "Don't forget - your name is Sarah Reynolds and we are from Tampa."

Elissa nodded, glanced at Alex uncertainly. "Um…what should I call you?"

"I suppose you should call me Aunt Kate," Alex said tentatively.

Alex wasn't an aunt, would never be an aunt. She was an only child. She didn't have any nieces or nephews. She never thought anyone would call her Aunt. It was odd, telling a teenager she'd known less than a week to call her that.

It was just as odd for Elissa. She didn't have any aunts or uncles, not _real_ aunts or uncles. She did, however, call her dad's best friend Uncle Josh. He'd given her birthday gifts every year, he'd made it to a few of her basketball games, and he'd been a permanent fixture in their apartment on football Sunday. Elissa knew Josh loved her. She wasn't a beloved niece to Alex. She wasn't _anything_ to her. If anything, she was a burden.

With the older woman's permission to use the title, Elissa nodded quietly and reached for the car door.

"Let me do the talking," Alex instructed her.

This was, Alex thought, too important, and there was too much that could go wrong.

The name Sarah was new and unfamiliar to Elissa. She would have to be listening for it. The first few times Alex had called her Sarah, the teenager hadn't responded. She hadn't been being obstinate or obtuse, Alex knew. She just hadn't been listening for the name – Sarah. No one had ever called her that before.

And Elissa always called her Alex. Alex knew she should break the teenager of that habit, but a part of her liked having someone who knew who she really was, even if it was a fourteen year old, nice to just be herself with Elissa instead of always pretending to be someone she wasn't. Alex had never been able to do that in Wisconsin. She had to think very carefully before she spoke. There were so many lies – where she was from, her family, where she went to college, what she did – to keep straight. It was exhausting.

Alex knew Elissa would try to remember, but she didn't know if the teenager could pull it off. No, if she wanted it done right, she would have to do it herself.

They walked in together and followed the signs to the main office.

An older woman with graying hair smiled at them from behind the front desk. "Can I help you?"

"This is my niece, Sarah Reynolds," Alex said, putting a hand on Elissa's shoulder.

"Of course." There was a flicker of recognition in the woman's eyes, a sympathetic smile on her face, and Elissa looked wary.

Alex had called the school that morning while Elissa was in the shower. They were expecting the teenager.

On request, Alex showed Kate Reynolds' driver's license. The administrative assistant made a copy of Sarah Reynolds' birth certificate. The marshals had already provided the school with Sarah Reynolds' immunization records and transcript. Only the courses and the grades on the transcript were real. Everything else was fake.

"Your school in Tampa faxed your transcript over this morning." The woman rifled through the manila folders on her desk, opened one. With a few clicks of a button, she pulled Sarah Reynolds' schedule up on her computer, printed it off. "We tried to match your schedule."

The teenager glanced at the sheet of paper with Alex looking over her shoulder. Honors English, honors history, Spanish, honors biology, honors geometry, and P.E. were the same classes she'd been in at York Prep. Instead of choir, she had drama.

Elissa didn't know if the school had messed up, or if the marshals had decided that she couldn't be on the choir because she'd been on her school choir in New York. She decided not to say anything.

"Please fill this out." The woman handed Alex the paperwork.

Alex filled in her contact information with her new address and phone number, left Kate Reynolds' employer and work number blank, left the emergency contact information blank, and signed and dated it.

The woman gave Elissa a map of the school, pointed out her locker and first class on the map. "Do you have any questions?"

Elissa merely shook her head.

"If you do, you can schedule an appointment with your guidance counselor, Mr. Long," the woman told her.

Alex led the teenager out of the office to a quiet corner of the hallway. They arrived a good thirty minutes early to register Elissa, and the hallways were deserted. The average teenager would sleep as long as they could, arriving ten to fifteen minutes before class started, if that.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Alex's voice was skeptical.

Elissa nodded. "I'll be fine."

Alex studied her for a moment. "All right." Absently, she took a ten dollar bill out of her purse, gave it to the teenager.

Elissa knit her brow. "What's this for?"

"Lunch," Alex replied.

Uncomfortable taking money from Alex, Elissa shook her head, tried to give it back to her. "No, A-" Alex narrowed her eyes, and Elissa immediately corrected herself. "Aunt Kate, I can't take your money."

"You can and you will," Alex insisted.

"A- Aunt Kate…" The teenager's voice was a chiding protest.

"You are my niece and I am responsible for you," Alex reminded the teenager, her voice low and even, but carefully deliberate.

After a moment, Elissa folded the ten dollar bill and put it in her back pocket.

Alex eyed the teenager warily, unsure if she was ready for this. "Call me if anything happens."

"It won't," Elissa said at once.

"I'll pick you up after school," Alex told her. "Have a good day."

She didn't have a good day.

Because she was new in the middle of the year, everyone was very interested in Elissa. Apparently there weren't a lot of people who moved to the small town and all the other kids had grown up together. Everyone was talking to her. Now, this might have been nice if they didn't inevitably, invariably ask why she moved. Sarah Reynolds' story, losing both of her parents in a car crash, was too close to her real story. Of course, her dad hadn't died in a car crash and her mom was still very much alive. Nonetheless, it was hard to talk about her dad's death, hard to think about it.

Worse still, the teachers knew that Sarah Reynolds's parents were killed in a tragic car accident. They looked at Elissa with pity. Well, Elissa didn't want their pity.

Her history teacher, Ms. Grey, an overzealous woman in her early thirties with mousy brown hair asked Sarah to stay after class. Ms. Grey told the teenager that she had lost her own mother to breast cancer a few months ago and her door was always open if she wanted to talk.

The teenager's face tightened, her porcelain cheeks flushing an angry red. The woman knew nothing, absolutely nothing about Elissa. She didn't, Elissa thought wryly, even know her name. She didn't know what it was like to watch a cold-blooded killer shoot her dad. She felt sorry for the woman, as she would for anyone who lost a parent, but she didn't like the woman comparing losing a parent when she was in her thirties with Elissa losing her father so senselessly and unnecessarily at age fourteen, essentially orphaning her. It wasn't the same. Elissa took a deep breath, and, with great effort, reined her temper in and thanked her teacher.

In her last class of the day, Elissa found herself watching the clock. A few minutes before three, the normally studious girl was packing her backpack up. The teenager sprang up from her desk the moment the bell rang and shot out of the classroom

As promised, Alex was waiting in front of the school. Elissa put her backpack in the backseat and got in the front.

"How was your day?" Alex asked.

"It was weird. It's like no one's ever moved here before." Elissa's expression was considering.

"It's a small town," Alex told her.

Elissa tilted her head to look at Alex. "They've all been going to the same school since kindergarten. They were very interested in why we moved here."

Alex cut her eyes to the teenager, frowned.

"Don't worry, Alex. I told everyone my parents died in a car crash and I moved here with my aunt," Elissa said quickly in a toneless voice.

"Your Aunt Kate or Alex?" Alex's voice was weary.

"Kate," Elissa said quietly, and she looked at Alex uncertainly. "Should I call you Kate when it's just us?"

Alex knew she should say yes, but she couldn't.

"No," Alex said after a moment. "Do you have a lot of homework?"

"No, not really," Elissa replied.

"Do you want to go shopping?" Alex asked.

Alex had spent the day cleaning and organizing. The marshals had, Alex thought, just haphazardly thrown plates, bowls, glasses, pots and pans in kitchen cabinets at random. Some of the cabinets were full and others only had a few glasses in them. She took everything out and put it away where she would be able to find it easily. She organized her closet by color. When the common areas and her room were done, she wandered into the second bedroom. She narrowly avoided tripping over Elissa's unpacked suitcase, which was still in the middle of the floor. She moved the suitcase to the empty closet. She didn't open it, but it wasn't very heavy and she didn't think there would be enough clothes in it to get the teenager by for however long she would be there. She made a note to herself to take Elissa shopping before organizing her desk.

"I'll go with you, but I don't need anything," Elissa said.

"You need clothes," Alex stated.

"I have clothes," Elissa said.

"Not enough. You were only allowed to bring one suitcase," Alex reminded her.

Elissa looked out the window. "You don't have to buy me anything."

Alex remembered the teenager's reluctance to accept lunch money.

"I'm not buying it with my money. It's the federal government's money," Alex informed the teenager.

Elissa glanced at her. "It is?"

Alex nodded.

The mall was thirty miles away and it didn't have any of Alex's favorite stores. She missed New York shopping with the exclusive boutiques and high-end department stores. She thought longingly of her wardrobe in New York.

Alex only indulged in one pair of shoes for herself. Elissa fared better than her with three shopping bags. Because she didn't know how much she could spend, the teenager had been hesitant to pick anything out. Absently, Alex had picked up a plum cashmere sweater and asked Elissa if she liked it. The color looked good on her. After that, Elissa had tentatively picked up a charcoal grey hooded sweatshirt, looking to Alex for permission. The only time Alex shook her head was when the teenager tried on a red cardigan, and it wasn't because of the price, but because it was too much red for the strawberry blonde.

"What about this color?" Alex suggested instead, handing the teenager the same cardigan in an emerald green color.

Elissa flashed her a smile and took the cardigan into the dressing room. "You're a much better person to shop with than my dad. He took me shopping for a dress for Winter Formal and he said I looked good in every dress I tried on, even this red dress that did _not_ look good on me." The teenager rolled her eyes from inside the dressing room, buttoned the cardigan. "I know I don't look good in red because of my red hair, but I thought if I wore the cardigan with another color like navy it would be ok…" Elissa broke off, stepped out of the dressing room. "But you're right. I think the green looks better."

The green cardigan was added to the growing pile behind the cash register. Still uncomfortable with the amount of money spent on her, even if it was the government's money, the teenager thanked Alex profusely when she swiped Kate Reynolds' credit card. It was a little after six when they were done shopping and they had an hour drive ahead of them.

"Do you want to eat here?" Alex asked.

"Sure, if you want to," Elissa agreed.

"How about The Cheesecake Factory?" Alex suggested when she saw the restaurant as they were walking.

There was a short wait to be seated, during which time they looked at the glass display case with cheesecakes. There were the traditional flavors like Original and Strawberry that you could get anywhere, but then they also had Godiva Chocolate, Red Velvet, Dulce De Leche Caramel, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and more.

Elissa took in all the mouthwatering flavors. "I don't know what I want. There are so many choices."

"I've had Red Velvet and White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle. They were both good," Alex said.

"Oh, Red Velvet," Elissa murmured. "That sounds really good."

"It is, but it's also really rich," Alex warned her.

"I think I want something chocolate," Elissa said thoughtfully.

"So do I," Alex said.

"I know! Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough," Elissa said excitedly. "Do you know what you're going to have?"

"I think I'm going to have Godiva Chocolate," Alex told her.

Their pager went off and the hostess led them to a booth. Alex ordered a glass of wine and a salad, while Elissa had a Coke and the Margherita pizza. It was the first time Alex had seen the teenager eat and not just pick at her food like a bird. There was only one slice of the big pizza with thin, golden brown crust, buffalo mozzarella, tomato and basil left when Elissa pushed her plate away.

It had been weeks since her dad's brutal murder, and, every time she ate anything, Elissa felt slightly nauseated. She never actually got sick though. She sipped her Coke when she started feeling sick. She _had_ to have a piece of cheesecake. They were in The Cheesecake Factory, after all.

"Mmm, that is _good_," Elissa said after a bite of the Cookie Dough Cheesecake. "Do you want to try it?"

"Are you sure?" Alex asked.

Elissa nodded, and Alex used her fork to dig in. "That is good. Do you want to try mine?" Alex was already cutting a small piece of her own cheesecake and putting it on the girl's plate.

* * *

She shouldn't have had the cheesecake, Elissa thought, as a wave of nausea hit her. Thankfully, it didn't hit her until they were home, although she started feeling queasy in the car. She flushed the toilet.

"Are you ok?" Alex called from outside the bathroom door.

Elissa opened the door. "I'm fine."

Alex gave her a long look as if deciding for herself. "Your cheeks are flushed. Do you have a fever?"

Elissa frowned. "I don't know. I don't think so. It's just my stomach."

"How long have you been feeling like this?" Alex wondered.

Elissa cocked her head. "Since my dad died."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

When she got sick, Alex usually just took medicine and went to work. She couldn't miss court, wouldn't ask for a continuance.

Alex didn't know what to do with a sick kid. She gave her medicine, but Elissa couldn't keep it down. Elissa couldn't keep _anything_ down.

The first wave of nausea had been followed by a second. The teenager had tossed up her dinner and dessert and was now dry heaving. She couldn't leave the bathroom. Every time she tried to leave, the nausea came back. She finally gave up, resigned to spending the night in the bathroom. At least, Elissa mused wryly, she wouldn't sleep on the hard tile floor. And if she didn't sleep, she wouldn't dream.

Alex had been there the whole time - and it had been hours. During a brief break from being sick, Elissa had thrown her hair into a messy ponytail. She felt sweaty and gross. It was embarrassing. She wondered what the cool blonde must think of her and blushed.

Alex didn't think she'd ever been that sick in her life. It had been two hours and forty-nine minutes. She was reconsidering her decision to wait until the morning to take the teenager to the doctor. It was late and it wasn't an emergency…but she didn't know what to do. Alex would feel better if they talked to a doctor.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," Alex announced.

Alex's tone left no room for argument, and Elissa was too tired to argue.

Somehow they made it to the hospital without having to pull over for the teenager to get sick.

They had taken Elissa to the hospital the night her dad was shot. The cops had pulled her off of her dad so they could take his pulse. There was none. They saw the blood on the teenager and thought she was bleeding. It wasn't her blood. It was her dad's. She'd been in shock, unable to tell them that she was fine. They'd called a bus. She let the paramedics lead her from her apartment to the ambulance. And she had never seen her dad again.

She closed her eyes, struggled to keep herself in the here and now, not in the hospital covered in her dad's blood.

She didn't even hear them call her name - Sarah Reynolds, didn't stand up until Alex made eye contact with her and put a soft hand on her arm.

A nurse asked her the standard questions and made notations as she answered. She wasn't allergic to any medication. She'd taken Pepto Bismol a few hours ago, but she hadn't been able to keep it down. No, she couldn't, she told the nurse, her eyes on the linoleum floor, a blush staining her cheeks, be pregnant.

She stepped on the scale and was surprised that she'd lost five pounds. She wasn't trying to lose weight. She just wasn't hungry. Plus, she felt slightly nauseas every time she ate. Her blood pressure was normal. Her temperature was 100.3.

The nurse took them back to an examination room to wait for the doctor. Dr. Cooper was a woman in her early fifties with curly brown hair. She asked the same questions the nurse had asked, and Elissa answered even though she knew the doctor was looking at the answers on her chart.

"It's probably a bug. We can do a flu test." As she gave Elissa the flu test, the doctor's eyes narrowed, looked closer. The teenager had dark shadows under her eyes, the purple contrasting startlingly with her porcelain skin. "Have you been tired? Stressed?"

She lost her dad, her home, her friends, her life. She had moved to North Carolina and was staying with a woman she'd only known for a short time, who, Elissa knew, didn't want her there. It was, Alex made sure she knew, only until they could place her with a family in the Witness Protection Program. She would be moving again any day now. She would be living with strangers and there was nothing she could do about it. So, yes, she was tired and stressed out.

Elissa merely nodded.

The doctor pursed her lips, looked over at Alex for help.

"We just moved here. Sarah lost her parents in a car crash," Alex supplied.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Cooper said to Elissa. "Were you in the car?"

Elissa was in the room when her dad was shot. Did that count?

Elissa couldn't stop the scornful snicker. "Yes, I was in the car."

The doctor looked the teenager over as if looking for stitches or broken bones. "Were you injured?"

"No," Elissa said flatly.

"You said you haven't been sleeping well?" Dr. Cooper said.

"No. Can you give me something for that?" Elissa wondered.

Dr. Cooper glanced at the date of birth on the chart, frowned. "Let's talk about ways you can sleep better without medication first. Do you drink a lot of caffeine?"

Elissa rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but giving up coffee and Coke isn't going to stop me from having nightmares about the car crash."

"You've been having nightmares? Have you talked to anyone? I can recommend a therapist," Dr. Cooper said, directing the last part more to Alex than Elissa.

"Alright," Alex said.

Elissa widened her blue eyes in shock and betrayal, narrowed them at Alex.

They left the hospital with a referral for a psychologist and a prescription for anti-nausea medicine. Elissa's instructions were to rest, drink plenty of fluids, and take Tylenol for the fever.

Elissa crossed her arms in front of her chest in the passenger seat. "I'm not going to talk to a shrink about a car crash that never happened."

"Alright," Alex said.

Expecting an argument, the teenager knit her brow. "Wait, what? You asked him to recommend a shrink. I thought you wanted me to go."

"I didn't ask him to recommend a therapist. He offered to recommend someone," Alex corrected. "What kind of an aunt would I be if I said no?" Her lips curved into a smirk.

"The kind that doesn't think her niece is crazy," Elissa said dryly.

Alex shot her a look. "I don't think you're crazy."

For a fourteen year old who saw someone shoot her father, Elissa was, Alex thought, surprisingly well adjusted. And prior to her father's murder, Elissa was as close to perfect as a teenager could be in spite of the fact that she was raised by a single dad who worked for a Colombian drug cartel. Of course, Elissa was blissfully unaware of her father's ties to the cartel, but still…

"I had to talk to Dr. Huang, before the trial," Elissa confessed. "Casey didn't really give me a choice."

Unsurprised, Alex stared straight ahead at the road as she drove. "It's not unusual to have a witness talk with a psychiatrist before they testify."

Especially, Alex thought, a child who had witnessed the brutal murder of a loved one. She would have done the same thing if she had been prosecuting Liam Connors. That way they would be covered if the defense questioned the ability of a traumatized fourteen year old to testify. In Elissa's case, that's all it would do.

Alex doubted that Elissa would have talked to Dr. Huang. Oh, she would have answered his questions, but the answers would have been careful and cautious, brief, yes or no, one-word answers. It would be, Alex mused, like talking to a brick wall.

Elissa didn't want to talk about her father. The only reason she talked about the night he was murdered was because she wanted justice for him. She didn't talk about the nightmares, and it didn't take a genius to know she was reliving that night in her dreams.

Everyone had tried to talk to the teenager, but she didn't want to talk, not to Casey, not to Olivia, not even to Elliot, who had an easy rapport with Elissa – right up until he asked if she was nervous about the trial.

For some reason, she talked to Alex. Alex didn't know why, but she suspected it was because she was the only one who didn't ask questions she knew the teenager didn't want to answer. Everything Elissa told her, she told her on her own, without prompting. And it was Elissa's voice that broke her out of her thoughts.

"It's normal?" Elissa asked.

"If the defense questions the ability of a witness to testify, the prosecution can call Dr. Huang as an expert," Alex said.

Elissa frowned. "He can't tell the judge what you told him, can he?"

"That's up to the judge," Alex answered. "He works for the FBI and consults with the NYPD. I would argue that anything said to him is admissible in court."

"I'm glad I didn't say anything to him that I wouldn't want anyone else to know," Elissa said, and Alex smiled, her lips twitching in spite of herself.

Alex parked in front of the pharmacy. It was almost midnight and she was the only one in the pharmacy. It didn't take them long to fill Elissa's prescription, but Elissa fell asleep while she was waiting in the car. Her head was back, resting against the car's seat, her eyes closed. Alex woke her when they were home.

Elissa took the anti-nausea medicine and went to bed. She didn't know if it was because of the medicine or because she was sick, but she slept for a long time – almost ten hours. It was a deep, dreamless sleep.

Alex was watching the news and drinking a cup of coffee when Elissa finally trudged downstairs.

"How are you feeling?" Alex's voice was sympathetic.

"A little better." Elissa blushed. "I'm, um, sorry about last night."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Everyone gets sick," Alex said.

And Elissa was sick for five days.

A little better, Alex learned, only meant that the teenager wasn't vomiting every five minutes like clockwork. For the first two days, she could only eat saltines and dry toast.

While she was sick, the teenager spent most of her time curled up on the couch. She wasn't whiny, but very grateful any time Alex did anything for her. Alex brought her medicine, Ginger Ale, and crackers, but otherwise left her alone and let her sleep.

"Thank you," Elissa said softly as Alex handed her a Ginger Ale. "Are you missing work because of me?" Elissa's voice was apologetic.

The teenager was always, Alex had noticed, thanking her and apologizing.

Alex shook her head and gave the teenager a small, reassuring smile. "No."

"Oh," Elissa murmured. "Is babysitting me a full-time job?" She tried to keep her voice light, but there was…something in her voice, something hard and cynical.

Alex's cool eyes narrowed. "I'm not your babysitter."

Elissa met Alex's gaze, held it. "Aren't you?"

"You're staying with me. There's a difference," Alex said.

"Ok," Elissa said quietly.

"I don't have a job yet. I have an interview with an insurance agency on Friday," Alex told her.

"That's what you did in Wisconsin, right?" Elissa said.

"Yes," Alex confirmed.

"Do you like it?" Elissa asked.

Alex shook her head. "No."

Elissa frowned. "Then why would you want to do the same thing here?"

Alex let out a breath. "The marshals helped me find the job. It's a lot of paperwork, and attorneys are good at paperwork." She tried to smile.

"I know you can't be an ADA, but can you be, like, a defense attorney or something?" Elissa said thoughtfully.

"I thought you didn't like defense attorneys." This time Alex managed a thin smile.

"I don't," Elissa said quickly.

"And you think I should be one?" Alex said.

"I would still like you even if you were a defense attorney," Elissa told her, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Why, thank you," Alex said dryly. "But I can't practice law, and, even if I could, I would never be a defense attorney."

Because she understood it would hurt Alex to talk about the career she'd worked for, the career she'd left, Elissa nodded and turned her attention back to the TV.

Although Alex gave her the remote control whenever she was awake, the teenager didn't want to watch daytime talk shows or soap operas. On the third day, which was the first day she was actually awake for more than a few hours at a time, Elissa looked at Alex's DVDs to see if there was anything to watch. Alex didn't have the action movies Elissa and her dad always saw together. There were no Bourne movies, Fast and the Furious movies, or Harry Potter movies on the shelf. Instead, Alex had old movies, none of which Elissa had seen. Remembering the teenager had read Slaughterhouse-Five, Alex recommended Casablanca. It was, like the book the teenager liked, set during World War II.

After they watched Casablanca, Elissa asked Alex if there were any other movies that she thought she would like. They watched Schindler's List, Gone with the Wind, and Roman Holiday. To the teenager's surprise, she actually liked the old movies. She wanted to read Gone with the Wind because books were always better than the movies. She would check it out from the library when she was back in school.

Had the teenager not been there, Alex wouldn't have, she knew, watched old movies. She never just watched movies, never just sat back and relaxed.

As an ADA, she was always working. She turned movies on for company as she worked on paperwork, made notes before a trial, or memorized her closing argument. She managed her time, used it to be productive.

Alex hated not working. It was lonely, miserable, and boring. It gave her time to think about everything she'd lost because of Liam Connors, too much time.

She didn't know what she would have done with all of the free time in the days before her interview, but she would have tried to find a way to be productive – _anything_ to stop from thinking.

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who has shown an interest in this story! I wanted to use these first few chapters to introduce Elissa and set the stage. I have ideas to move this story forward and bring Olivia, Elliot, and Casey back into the fold soon. I have this story planned and an idea for a sequel about Alex's return to New York. I would love to hear what you think about Elissa and which characters you would like to see more of. I know original characters can be hit or miss, and, if you don't like Elissa, she doesn't have to go back to New York with Alex.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Over the next few weeks, Alex and Elissa fell into a daily routine.

They would eat – food prepared by Elissa. Even after Alex had assured the teenager that she didn't have to cook, Elissa insisted on making breakfast and dinner. Alex didn't know if the meals were cooked with gratitude, as breakfast their first morning in the house had been, or because the teenager didn't trust Alex to cook. Alex was the first to admit she wasn't much of a cook. Elissa was a gourmet chef by comparison.

After dinner, they would watch TV. To Alex's surprise, the teenager liked watching the evening news. They didn't always agree on what to watch when the news was over though. Elissa always wanted to watch basketball if there were any basketball games on. Alex wasn't much of a sports fan. Because she was still trying to show Alex that she could be a good roommate, Elissa always surrendered the remote control without complaint.

They would talk. They talked about the small town that was new and different for both of them. People dressed differently, talked differently. They couldn't help but compare it with New York.

They talked about what they missed most in New York – a favorite coffee shop, clothing store, pizza place. Things and places, not people. It was too hard to talk about the friends they missed, the family they had lost.

Elissa didn't ask about Alex's family, and Alex didn't offer any information. In return, Alex didn't make the teenager talk about her dad even though she knew Elissa was still having nightmares about his murder.

Elissa was always up before Alex. There were permanent dark shadows under the girl's eyes. There was always a pillow and blanket on the couch in the morning and the TV was on with the volume low.

Alex was no stranger to insomnia. She recognized the signs. She had her own nightmares, dreams in which she was dying at the hands of a nameless, faceless man. She hadn't had that nightmare since Liam Connors' trial and conviction. Even before she could put a face with the man who had shot her, Alex didn't have that nightmare every night. It would sneak up on her after a stranger had looked at her funny or been overly interested in her. She always woke up scared and alone.

Because she knew what it felt like to wake up scared and alone, Alex would wake the teenager up if she heard her crying in her sleep. She would stay while Elissa struggled to get her emotions under control. She was giving the teenager a chance to talk, but Elissa never took it.

Although she had to be exhausted, Elissa wasn't short-tempered. She'd once been a happy, cheerful child. That child was gone. She'd died with her dad. She was now broody. Still, her sweet nature remained. She was always helpful and kind.

She would help bring groceries in or unload the dishwasher without being asked.

She always asked Alex how her day was, and she was compassionate and sympathetic if anything had gone wrong, no matter how small.

She could usually tell if something was bothering Alex. She was a sensitive kid. She saw the way Alex stared at the sweatshirt she'd taken off and thrown on the couch, the fleece she'd draped on the back of a kitchen chair, the notebooks and textbooks she left spread out on the kitchen table, like they didn't belong there. Alex always hung her own jacket up in the closet the minute she walked in the door. There was a place for everything and Alex always put everything away in its proper place. Personally, Elissa thought Alex was borderline OCD, but she tried to remember to take anything that was hers up to her room. She was still on her best behavior and the last thing she wanted to do was annoy Alex.

Alex was smart and strong. She gave good advice. She was honest, sometimes brutally honest. She had a very dry, subtle sense of humor. It wasn't obvious, and not everyone appreciated her dark, obscure sarcasm. The defense attorneys and criminals she used it on certainly didn't appreciate it, if they even picked up on the meaning behind the careful, cutting words, and not all of them did. Elissa did, though Alex hadn't been sure she would.

Right now Alex was late. She'd been getting home a little after five every day since she'd started working at the insurance agency. It was almost seven thirty when Elissa heard the garage door. A minute later Alex took her shoes off and hung her jacket in the closet.

The worry that had slowly crept up in the teenager faded. Alex was home. The people who wanted them dead hadn't found her. There hadn't been a car accident. Elissa knew she was overreacting when those scenarios ran through her mind, but they'd been there, in the back of her mind, until she saw Alex.

"You're late." There was no anger in the teenager's voice, only a hint of concern. Her big blue eyes were curious.

Alex looked at her watch. "Seven fifteen is late? I'll remember that when I decide how late you can stay out."

Elissa shot her a look, rolled her eyes.

It had never even occurred to Alex that the teenager would wonder where she was. For years, she had lived alone. She hadn't had a roommate since law school, and none of her roommates would have been worried if she'd been an hour late. But Elissa wasn't her roommate. Elissa was a kid…an independent kid, but still a kid.

Alex noticed the untouched lasagna on the kitchen counter and felt a surge of guilt. Elissa had waited for her. That was just like Elissa. She probably should have called to tell the teenager that she wouldn't be home until later.

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "I went out for drinks with some people from work."

Elissa smiled at her, blue eyes sparkling. "Would _some people_ be a guy?"

"The insurance agency does hire men and women." Alex got a bottle of water out of the refrigerator for herself and a can of Coke for Elissa.

"And? Do you like any of the men?" Elissa asked.

"There is a twenty-three year old who is quite the catch," Alex said dryly. "He lives at home with his mother."

"Robbing the cradle?" Elissa said with a small smile.

"What about you? Do you like anyone at school?" Alex asked, expertly turning it around on the teenager.

A blush warmed Elissa's face. She concentrated on serving herself lasagna without spilling and then took her plate to the table without looking at Alex.

Alex's lips curved. "I'll take that as a yes. Who is he?" She sat down across from the teenager.

"His name is Matt. He's in my science class," Elissa told her.

"Does Matt have a last name?" Alex said almost immediately, filing the information away.

"Harrison. Why? Do you think I'm making him up?" Elissa said.

"I know you're not making him up," Alex said. "I just want to know who your friends are."

"He's not my friend. He's never talked to me. He's shy," Elissa told her.

Surprised, Alex looked at the teenager. "How do you know you like him if he hasn't talked to you?"

Elissa set her fork down. "He's cute. And he's smart."

The doorbell rang, and Alex eyed the door warily. "Are you expecting anyone?"

"No. Maybe it's the twenty-three year old," Elissa suggested teasingly.

"I think it's past his bedtime," Alex said.

It was Marshal Henderson. Alex invited him in and he sat down at the table. He didn't want anything to eat or drink. He was, Alex noticed, all business.

"We're moving Elissa tomorrow morning," he told them.

Elissa's gaze flickered to Alex uncertainly, the look on her face heartbreaking and pleading.

The best place for Elissa was with a family, Alex told herself to ease her guilt. Two parents, people who had kids. Not her. She wasn't a parent. Elissa wouldn't eat her cooking. She hadn't known what to do when Elissa was sick. It had never even occurred to her to call Elissa and let her know she'd be late. She had to do what was best for the teenager.

The guilt didn't show on Alex's face. "I'm sorry. You can't stay here."

Elissa's heart plummeted. "It's ok. I'll go pack."

Alex waited until she had disappeared. "The family – who are they?"

Elissa paused on the stairs, wanting to hear the answer.

"He works for a tech company and she stays at home. They have a sixteen year old daughter," Marshal Henderson replied.

Alex narrowed her eyes at him. "What did he do before he worked for a tech company?"

Marshal Henderson sighed. "He worked for Enron."

"That's the best you can do?" Alex's voice was incredulous and disapproving. "There has to be someone who doesn't belong in prison that can take her in."

"He's a white collar criminal, Alex. He's not dangerous," Marshal Henderson said calmly.

"He's still a criminal," Alex argued.

"That's not anything new for her," Marshal Henderson pointed out.

"She doesn't know about her father," Alex told him.

"Why does she think he's dead?" Marshal Henderson said.

"She knows someone hired him to shoot her dad. She just doesn't know why," Alex said.

Alex didn't understand how someone so smart could know nothing about her father's activities. Elissa wasn't unintelligent, far from it. She loved her father. And Alex had to admit he'd done a good job with his daughter. Maybe her love for her father blinded her. Maybe Elissa couldn't see him for what he was because she didn't want to.

Rooted in place on the stairs, Elissa struggled to make sense of the conversation going on in the kitchen. Her dad was an accountant. He went to work every day wearing a suit and tie. She'd been in his office. When he got home from work, they played videogames, made ice cream sundaes, watched movies. When would he have had time to commit crimes? She would have known if he were a criminal. He _wasn't _a criminal.

But why would someone hire Liam Connors to shoot her dad? The question was there now and she needed an answer. God, why hadn't she thought of it before? It would have been so much easier to get the answers she needed in New York. Of course, she hadn't known that someone had hired Liam Connors until the night before the trial. The detectives hadn't wanted her to know. It had come out when she was talking to Alex about witness protection.

"_But you said Liam Connors would go to jail."_

"_He will. But the man he was working for is still out there."_

"_The man he was working for? Someone hired him to kill my dad?" _

"_Yes."_

She remembered the conversation, forgotten in the midst of the trial. Her dad's murder wasn't, as she originally thought, senseless. It was calculated.

Unlike the detectives, who changed the subject every time she asked a question they didn't want to answer, Alex had answered her questions. Alex had never lied to her. She trusted Alex.

Now she had to face the cold, hard facts. Either her dad was a criminal, or Alex was wrong. Not liking either possibility, Elissa's stomach knotted.

Elissa had never unpacked, but she'd worn most of the clothes she'd packed and she also had the new clothes Alex had bought her. She was folding clothes and putting them in her suitcase when Alex knocked on the doorframe.

From her spot in the doorway, Alex surveyed the room for a moment. Although her desk was in the second bedroom, it had never been her office, not in this house. Elissa's backpack was thrown on the floor near the doorway. There was a stack of books and an MP3 player on the nightstand. The bed was unmade. Alex thought it would be weird to walk into the room and not have the teenager's stuff everywhere.

Elissa looked over her shoulder at Alex. "Hey. Come in."

"Can I help?" Alex started folding a purple shirt with a peace sign on it without waiting for a response.

"Thanks," Elissa muttered, taking the top and putting it in her suitcase.

They folded in silence until everything was packed in Elissa's suitcase. Elissa didn't feel like talking, and Alex didn't know what to say. The light mood from earlier had changed with the marshal's visit. They couldn't just pretend nothing had changed when everything had changed.

"So…I guess I won't see you again, will I?" Elissa said quietly, her big blue eyes on Alex.

Alex shook her head. "No."

Elissa pursed her lips, nodded. "Thank you for everything." She managed a weak smile.

The teenager's voice was sincere, no sarcasm, and that only made Alex feel worse. She said nothing. What could she say?

"I'll miss you," Elissa said.

And then the teenager threw her arms around Alex, hugging her. Alex looked down at the strawberry blonde and swallowed. God, was this how Olivia felt every time she got too close to a victim?

"I'll miss you, too," Alex said softly.

That night Elissa couldn't sleep, not even the few hours she was usually able to get before waking up from her nightmare. Restless, she lay awake for hours, thinking before making a decision. She sprang up, put jeans on and pulled her navy blue hooded sweatshirt over her head. She carried her suitcase downstairs, walking quietly, careful not to wake Alex up. She locked the door behind her with her key and left with one last look back at the house. It was late and she was the only person out on the quiet suburban street.


End file.
